Back to the world of blogging

It's been awhile since I have posted on the good ol' blog. I hope to change that. I tried to do Mady's birthday post, but my computers memory is full so it wouldn't let me upload her birthday pictures.
Santa gave me an IPad for Christmas, so ill be posting more soon.
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, and has a happy new year!
You'll be seeing more from me soon! :)

The letter and summer break

The other day I saw this letter that Madison wrote for me just laying on my living room floor. Madison and Courtney were gone for the weekend with their father.

It made me smile. 

I am blessed.

 It reads:

"Mom, you are wonderful. You make me smile. You know I love you more then ever, more than the earth can take."

:)

 ************

It is officially summer break! I am ecstatic. No more school for 3 months! Wahoo!

On the last day of school I threw these little gifts together for my children's teachers. They are cheesy, but it's the thought that counts, right?

The card tied to the top reads, "Thank you for making me one smart cookie."

Lots of sun, swimming, and playing to be done around here.

I hope you all enjoy your summer break, too!

Try

Have you ever had those times in life where you get worked on really hard? Of course you have. We all have. The past little while has been like that for me. Last week was a tough, tough week for me. One particular afternoon last week, I had physical therapy in Spanish Fork. On the drive up, I was alone. I was crying. I put on my sunglasses to try to hide my tears from the cars that surrounded me, from the world. Soon, my glasses started to fog up so I had to keep taking them off and cleaning them. Through the midst of my tears I started venting to God. I was so frustrated and hurt. I was telling God that if He is real, then He needs to take this great burden away from me. I was also telling Him that I am tired of the trials that we have to face in this life. I was being very ungrateful. I pulled up to my physical therapist's office with my eyes red and puffy. I applied some makeup the best I could, but I know I looked just awful. After 2 hours at my physical therapy appointment, I left for a salon in Springville. My husband was so supportive of me, and told me to take all the time I needed. And I did just that. I got my very first facial. I got a chemical peal. It was amazing, and just what I needed. I ended my night with dinner at wingers, and a movie. I saw The Big Wedding. I was solo in the theater. No one else was there but me. It was kind of weird, but nice. I ended my night with sub zero frozen yogurt. On my way home I was still overwhelmed and still extremely sad. However, I knew I had 2 choices, I could make my trials make me or break me. I was, and still am, determined to let my trials make me into a better, stronger person.
The following day I had the song Try by Pink playing on my CD player in my home. I looked at my baby and saw her standing up and falling. She did this over and over and over again. She has been doing this for the past month. Each day she gets a little further without falling. As I watched my baby get up, take a few steps, wobble, and fall, the lyrics to Pink's song opened up something inside of me. "We've got to get up and try" is what the song says over and over and over again. Watching my baby doing just that inspired me. I am thankful for my children, and all that they teach me.
We are born with the tendency to keep trying, and to never give up. I will never lose the will to rise above, stronger than before. I will succeed. We all can if we strive to be better each and every day. Needless to say, this week has gone much better. It's so important to stay positive and to NEVER GIVE UP!

The innocence of childhood at its best

The other day my 5 year old daughter, Courtney, asked me how old she will be when her sister, Mady dies. How do you respond to something like that? I think I told her something like she will be very, very old.
In a child's mind, their parents know everything. I remember feeling completely protected as a child because I thought my parents knew it all. I thought they knew exactly how everything ran, and that it was simple to them. I didn't have to worry about how the bills were paid, how hard my dad worked to support the family, how many loads of laundry my mother did, and how much time it took my mother and older siblings to get food on the table. It's not always as easy for parents as children like to think. Yesterday Myriam puked on my back, the kids were extra ornery getting ready for school, and all I wanted to do yesterday was cry, and that's just what I did, I cried, a lot.
I miss the innocence of childhood. I realize that my children are living in that complete isolated place right now. They think that I know everything. For all they know, money grows on trees. They know that their bellies are full, their home is warm, and they can come to their parents whenever they need anything. They won't always be told yes to every request or demand, but they know they will always find comfort in their parents. They are completely content and satisfied. Okay, other than occasionally having "the meanest mom in the world" when I won't let them do anything and everything they want anytime they want. But, they know they have the people in their lives that love them more than anyone else does. I will always be here to love and protect my children. However, I am a full believer that children need to learn from their OWN mistakes. I cannot, and should not, protect them from these learning experiences. I am a full believer in the love and logic parenting way. I attended their classes a few months ago. That was one of the best things I could have done. If you're interested, just visit www.loveandlogic.com.
I guess my point to all of this is that we need to let children relish in the innocence of their childhood. So many times children are being pushed to be older than they really are. We need to take a step back from our busy lives and just let our kids be kids. I need to learn to do this more often. I'm not saying my outlook is the right way. But, it is what I believe to be true.
The reason I type my thoughts down like this is so that my children can look back and read what I was feeling when they were little. I want them to know what it was like for me, for all of us. I want them to remember not only the big things, but the small things as well. I want them to be able to look back and reminisce on their childhood. I wish my mother would have written down her thoughts when I was little. As a child, I never took too much time to see what things were like for her. I just trusted that she had it ALL figured out. Now that I am a mother, I would really like to know what her frame of mind was when I was little and in her home. I know that when I am much older, and my children are grown, I will forget a lot of how I felt at this time in my life. Sure, I will remember the important things like how happy my children made me. I'll remember the hugs, the kisses, and the laughs. But, I probably won't remember these little thoughts that crossed my mind. I'm sure I will remember some, but most certainly not all of them. My mind is constantly going. If I don't type my thoughts down, it often passes and I forget. If my children are reading this, and we are all much older, just know that I love you so so much. You are the world to me. I am thankful to be your mommy. I wouldn't trade you for the world. There isn't a day that goes by, or that will go by, where I won't be thinking of you. You are the loves of my life.

Until next time, XOXO 

And the knee says no

Courtney, Myriam and I headed up to Provo this afternoon for a doctors appointment for myself.

As I have stated in some of my previous posts, I have started running. I must have pushed myself too hard last week because my knee started hurting. I gave it a few days of rest, and tried to go running with one of my friends yesterday. I barely made it home. When I did make it home, I called and made an appointment for today with and orthopedic doctor.

My knee was killing me the rest of the day. I haven't felt pain like that in a long time. It was excruciating. I could barely walk let alone make it up the stairs throughout the day.  By night time, it became worse. After a long day, I lay in bed with the throbbing pain. No matter which way I positioned my knees, it hurt. After carefully tossing and turning several times, I finally gave in and took some pain medicine. I don't resort to taking medicine unless I absolutely need it. I'm weird like that. I lied down on my back and propped my legs up on a couple fluffy pillows while letting the pain medicine kick in. I was finally able to drift off to sleep after that. By morning, the pain was much much better, but still hurting.

At the doctor's office, I was given x-rays. They looked normal. The doctor said my knee is really inflamed so he put me on and anti inflammatory prescription. I have to take it for 3 months. I was given a cortisone shot, and I have to do physical therapy as well. He said if the pain isn't going away in 3 weeks, I have to get and MRI to see if it's cracked.

When the doctor gave me the cortisone shot in my knee, Courtney looked horrified. She plugged her ears, and started trembling in fear. I felt so bad for her. I'm not gonna lie, it hurt. I tried to get her to hold my hand so I could be brave while he gave me the shot, but she refused. She didn't want to get near me. Myriam just kept giving all the people who helped me weird looks. She didn't understand why all these different people were touching her mama. She stayed in her stroller the whole time. She was such a good girl, thanks to Courtney being a big helper and pushing her around the room for me.

After 2 hours at the doctor's office, we finally left for home.

So, I can't run for awhile. I'm not sure how long I'll be out of the running game. I'm super bummed out. I will be doing lots of upper body workouts in the meantime.

 I bought these bad boys last week. I am in love with them. They will be taking a break for a min while my body heals. Once my knee heals, I have to start back up slow.

Now that summer is approaching quickly, I itch to get out into the wilderness. I itch to run, to hike, to sweat.

Hopefully I will heal quickly, and will be back on the pavement and trails soon enough.

Nothing will keep me down.

Prayers are welcomed and very much appreciated.

Grow hair, grow!

Would somebody please have a talk with my little girl and tell her hair to grow grow grow!? ;)
Myr is a baldy with a Mohawk and a few cute lil curls in the back......... Ok, so she has a liiiittle more hair than that, but I'm using the word little very lightly here.
My other children were all born with more hair than she has now. It is quite funny.
She makes bald(ish) look good.
Sorry Brittney Spears, my baby wears it best. (Remember when Brit shaved her head? Yowza!)

Bald(ish) or not, my baby still rocks my world.

PS. I love her hair just the way it is.

TGIF

TGIF! I am so excited for this weekend. I have no plans which means I get to take a breather for a min. My knee is killing me. Darn running. I kept waking up throughout the night due to the pain. It hurts to walk on it. Ben massaged it this morning which helped. I have went 12 miles this week. I think I'm getting addicted. I have a running partner now. Hopefully my knee will be feeling better by Monday so I can get back out there.
This morning I went on a field trip with Courtney's preschool class. We went to Carter's Dairy Farm. We had a lot of fun.
I volunteered to decorate Mady's teachers door for teacher appreciation week. I finished it up today with the "help" of Myriam. We had fun.
Tonight is Friday, that means pizza night here. I will be making it from scratch. It is seriously the best pizza ever. My good friend Jamie gave me her dough recipe, and I use a sauce recipe I got off Pinterest. Seriously, if I was on death row, I would choose my homemade pizza as my last meal. I take that back, I would probably choose chicken alforno from The Brick Oven. ;)
Happy weekend!

Falling Plates

This is beautiful! Just watch, see for yourself.

Doctor's appointments and running

Today we took the kids to the pediatrician's office. Marshall and Courtney had their well child check. I'm a little late. That's the story of my life though.
Marshall and Courtney are doing great. They are both in the low percentile for weight. I have skinny-minis. Courtney had a wart that had to be froze off. To put it lightly, she freaked out. I'm glad I don't know the pain that comes from having a wart froze off. I've had babies. That's enough pain. Screw the warts. ;)
This morning Courtney told me that she is completely convinced that we still have birthdays when we are in heaven. Her only concern about that was how she would be able to blow out her candles, and eat her cake while in heaven. If these type of things were my only concerns, I'd be golden.
Today I ran (and walked) 4 miles. I went 3 miles yesterday. And the other times I've been, I just went about a mile. The weather is finally cooporating enough for me to be able to go for longer periods of time. It is still a bit chilly, but nothing bad enough to hold me back. I have never been a runner. In fact, I've always hated it. This is a new experience for me. My body aches especially today, but I love the achy feeling. It means my body is transforming. It will take awhile before I get to the point where I am satisfied, but by the end of the year, I WILL be there.

Quote for the day: A successful woman is one who can build a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at her.

Happy Tuesday to all!

The old, used up, broken down car

I previously wrote the following on my Facebook page:

Some of you may not know this, but I have been married before. No one truly understands the pain of a divorce until they have experienced it themselves. My son is from my first husband, my middle children are from my second husband, and my baby is from the man I am married to now. Many people frown upon and judge people like me. They warn people to stay away from people like me. But that's okay. I have to remind myself that the ones who judge me just don't understand, and they don't need to understand. I'm the one who has lived through it, and I'm the one who has overcome so much pain. I'm still here. I'm still breathing. I'm still pressing on even though at so many times I felt like giving up. I am strong. My experiences have taught me a lot. Anyway, I was having a weak moment, and I told my husband that I feel like an old, used up, broken down car, and that he is like a viper. His reply to that was, "the old, used up, broken down cars are the ones with the best stories". ♥!

I got such a huge response. There was one person in particular that said this couldn't have come at a better time for them. This person is struggling with going through a divorce. She said that it was inspiring to her.

My husband knew that trying to convince me that I'm not an old, used up, broken down car at that time was a useless battle. He knew how I felt. He tried to turn my thinking into a positive thought. For that I am thankful. Had he spend all day trying to convince me that I'm not broken down would have been a waste. Because, at that moment, I felt broken.

The reason for me posting this is in hopes of helping more people.

For the ones out there suffering with the sting of divorce, I understand.

It gets better. Hold on. Don't give up. The wrath of the waters will calm, and when the waves slow down, you will be able to see the elegance and beauty in life once again.

I, for one, went into a deep depression throughout my last divorce. It was hard. Those were dark dark days. I remember feeling the darkness around me. The scary thing is that it didn't bother me. I felt no emotion at that time other than the bottomless pit that I felt I was in.

Life gets better. We all have trials. You can overcome yours, too. As you can see, I am still working on mine too.

Mary had a little lamb

Mady learned how to play Mary had a little lamb the other day. She has been teaching Courtney how to play it. Courtney practices it now mainly when Mady is at school. The little piano is being played alllll day long!
Yesterday while Mady was playing the song, she and Courtney brought the baby on the chair with them, then asked me to take a picture of them. I did gladly.
PS. If the piano suddenly goes missing in a week or two of them constantly pounding on it, I have no clue where it went.... OK. OK. I'm not that mean. At least I hope I'm not. ;)

Oh, and great news: I have lost just under 12 pounds in 16 days. It may or may not partly have to do with my lack of appetite this week.
Anyway, go me! I can see and feel a difference already. There is no stopping me now.... unless someone brings me a big slice of carrot cake. No, even then I will keep on keepin' on.

The Dream

I usually don't blog about stuff like this, but what the heck. Here we go:

I have been slacking on keeping my blog updated the past few days.

There has been so much that I've been wanting to blog about. Those posts will have to wait.

I have been feeling overly emotional lately. It all started with a bizarre dream I had on Sunday morning. I haven't had a dream affect me like this for this long before, but this one has.

I woke up so sad and with my heart broken into a million pieces..... or so it felt.

I haven't been able to get my dream off my mind.

I talked to my husband about my dream, and I am so thankful that I have a husband that I can go to about anything and everything. He is always willing to give me great advice, and back me up.

Today, I am going to try to do things to distract my mind from the thoughts of this dream since that's all that my mind seems to want to think about.

PS. As of this morning, I am down just over 8 lbs in 14 days! I'm pretty happy about that. My hard work is paying off. 

Now the weight just needs to keep coming off.

Throwback Thursday

I have never done a throwback Thursday post.

A friend of mine posted this photo of me on facebook a few weeks ago.

I asked him where he got this, and he said he took this photo of me back in our school days.

I had no idea.

This photo kind of makes me giggle.

Reason 1: because I remember I used to ALWAYS chew on my pens. I still chew on my pens. :-/ It's quite obnoxious because I don't even realize I'm doing it most of the time.

Reason 2: because I was dressed kind of silly that day. I thought I was so cool back then.

I haven't had short hair since I was a teenager. I kind of miss it.

I have been tempted many times to cut it short again, but I just can't seem to muster up enough courage to do it. I'll probably have long hair forever. Or at least until I'm super old and just don't care anymore.

My favorite short hair cut is the aline.

Happy Thursday! I am SO anxious for this weekend!

Laid back kind of day

Today while Courtney was holding Myriam, Myriam thought it would be fun to pinch Courtney's cheeks and pull her hair. Courtney thought it was funny. So did I.

The XLG shirt Myriam is wearing is compliments of Mady redressing her when she got home from school.

 Tonight Ben and I made Cheesy Chili Mac for dinner.

It was delicious.

Ben and I are doing weight watchers. Contrary to many people's belief, you can still eat well and lose weight too.

I have lost just over 3 pounds in 1 week just from changing my diet. I hope to see the pounds continue to fall off. I have gained so much weight over the past few years. It's time to get back down to my healthy weight. 

 While Ben and I were busy cooking dinner, Mady and Courtney were in the kitchen with us at the dinner table doing little crafts. After drawing many pictures, Mady decided to make her own dinner. We were all snacking on baby carrots while Ben and I cooked dinner, so she grabbed a few carrots and cut them up with a butter knife. She got a couple noodles as well. She tried to put a big handful of pickles on her plate too. That didn't happen. I'm certain she would have eaten every last pickle that her tiny hands could carry. Mady LOVES pickles. She definitely takes after her momma in that area. I used to be so obsessed with pickles when I was younger that I would drink the pickle juice when they were gone.

Tonight for dinner, Myriam took a chocolate milk bath. She got it everywhere. She got it all over herself and her highchair. Courtney was sitting next to her, and Myriam got it on Courtney's seat too. Courtney didn't mind. In fact, I don't think she even noticed. After dinner, Ben whisked Myriam upstairs to give her a bath while I bathed Mady and Courtney.

We finished the night with watching Splash on ABC. It is so funny watching Mady and Courtney get into reality television shows.

Marshall has made a new best friend. He was over at his house celebrating his birthday with him. I am so glad that Marshall has found such a good friend. We missed him this evening, but I'm so excited to see him coming out of his shell with other people. I can't believe I have a 9 year old. He is growing up way too fast, and I don't like it. He shouldn't be growing up so fast. I remember rocking him and singing him to sleep at night when he was just a little baby. I was still a teenager at that time. I was a baby myself. I remember every morning when we would wake up, I would take him to the biggest window in our house, and while we looked outside I would gently sing to him, "Good morning beautiful, how was your night? Mine was wonderful with you by my side and I opened my eyes to see your sweet face. It's a good morning beautiful day."
Time really does fly.

Today was a laid back, fun day.

I cherish and enjoy these kind of days the most.

Picnic with a friend

A few weeks ago it was warm enough for Madison to have her friend over for a picnic.

They packed up some peanut butter and honey sandwiches, and some pumpkin chocolate chip cookies just fresh out of the oven.

They had a blast!

Today we woke up to snow. :(

Winter must not be ready to retire yet. 

If I could, I think would move to a warmer state.

Happy Tuesday!

Mady's messages and the cake dilemma

Mady has been using part of her chore chart board as a memo board. On Myriam's birthday, after Myriam's candle was blown out, I was trying to dish up cake for everyone. 

Mady must have gotten tired of waiting because I found the following message:

It's supposed to read, 'Mom is taking forever to give me cake'. She ran out of room so she didn't get all of her message written down. 

The other day when she was at school, I noticed a message on her board that read, 'today is the day that momma is being mean'. 

Her messages make me giggle.

 **********

A few days before Myriam's birthday, I decided to make Myriam a fondant cake for her birthday. I thought if I started a few days early I would have enough time to fix any errors that might occur.

On Monday night I got busy baking the cakes. Once they were cooled, I flipped them out of the round pans. The first cake came out easy. The second cake got stuck and ripped. No big deal because I had an extra cake mix on hand. I whipped the extra cake mix up, and greased the pans extra good this time. The second time around, both cakes came out of the pans just fine.

I put the cakes in the freezer over night. 

The following day I put the chocolate pudding filling in between the layers, and did a crumb coating. I set the cake in the freezer to harden so I could put the fondant on. Everything was going as planned. 

Next was the tricky part: rolling out the fondant and putting it on the cake. Once I looked at how much fondant I needed, I realized the cake supply store hadn't given me enough fondant. I had asked the lady several times how much fondant I would need for a 9" round cake. She assured me that 1 pound would be plenty, and that I would probably have some left over for decorating if needed. When I looked at how much I would need, I realized I was about 1 lb short. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to drive back up to Spanish Fork again, so I attempted to make it work with what I had. Bad idea to say the least. I rolled the fondant out and tried to put it over the cake, not once but 4 times. On the 4th try the fondant ended up tearing part of the top of the cake off. I was devastated. So, I cut a slice of the crumb coated, partly ripped cake, and Myriam and I enjoyed a slice. It tasted heavenly.

 

Ben came downstairs shortly after that. He could tell something was wrong. I ended up venting to him and shedding a few tears (Okay, a lot of tears). I was so frustrated. I was going to give up and just buy a bakery cake. Ben listened to me vent and then gave me a huge hug. He encouraged me not to give up. My wonderful sister in law makes beautiful cakes. I told her about my ordeal and she encouraged me not to give up either. So, I decided to give it another try. My sister in law gave me a recipe to make my own marshmallow fondant that is easier to work with (thanks Amy!).That night I ran to the store and bought all the ingredients I needed. Once my kids were tucked into bed for the night, I attempted to make another cake. Myriam woke up not long after I started. While I was nursing her back to sleep, I decided to scroll through Pinterest on my phone. I found a cake that was iced with buttercream icing and decorated with fondant. I loved the look of it. So, I decided to go in that direction instead. Once Myriam went back to sleep, I whipped up a delicious batch of vanilla almond buttercream icing. It was divine! However, I couldn't get it to spread out nice and smooth on the cake. I added more icing, took some icing off, added more icing, took more icing off, made another batch of icing, then continued to ice it some more. Finally at 3 in the morning my body was aching from sleep depravation. I decided to do a messy look, wrapped some jute in a bow around it, rolled some hot pink fondant balls and placed them around the cake, and called it a night. Here is the end result (some of you may have already seen the cake from my blog post about Myraim's birthday):

I wasn't impressed with it, but I'm glad I made her first birthday cake. It still turned out cute, even if my expectations were initially too high.

Years down the road, I hope I can laugh about all the stress and lack of sleep this cake caused.

In the end, it was worth it.

Happy Easter 2013

We hope everyone had a blessed Easter and remembered to celebrate the true meaning of Easter!

We had a wonderful Easter, especially when Mady and Courtney got home that evening.

Thursday evening after Myriam's birthday party, the kids had fun painting Easter eggs. Well, except for Myriam. It had been a long day for her. She was tired, and ready for bed.

See what I mean. Grumpy baby. But still so cute.

Madison's eggs

Courtney's eggs

Marshall's eggs

Myriam's egg

The few that are missing were our dinner for the night.

The Easter Bunny made it to our house

He hid the eggs in some funny places.

Marshall found jelly beans in our toilet and this "oops! I forgot to flush!" note on the lid of our toilet. 

Silly Easter Bunny.

Marshall finding some eggs.
I love this photo of Marshall on Easter morning with Christ's picture behind him.
I am SO thankful that Christ died for us, and that He IS Risen so that we, too, can be risen again and have the opportunity to live eternally with our Father and Mother in Heaven.

Myriam was SO excited on Easter morning.

Honestly, she slept on her daddy's shoulder most of the morning, and had no clue that Easter morning was different than any other morning.

Myriam was sitting in front of Marshall and she moved over so their backs were touching.

It was so cute.

Marshall just loving on the baby.

Myriam hates wearing shoes, so she took her Easter shoes off and decided to put an Easter egg in it instead.

Marshall and Myriam right before we left for church.

Marshall is loving his new rollerblades.

The girls are too loving theirs too.

Ben helping Mady get the hang of her new skates.
<3!

Courtney's elbow pads are too big. Bummer.

Looks like we'll be buying some new ones that actually fit.

At the end of the night, Courtney BEGGED me to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let her take some pictures with my camera. So, I let her. 

She took this photo of me.

This is how I felt by the end of the week. Last week was so super busy but oh so fun. We had a lot going on every single day, and a lot of preparations that needed to be made. Lets just say that I was going off of very little sleep each day. 

I am definitely enjoying this week. My kids are out of school for Spring break. We get to sleep in and then enjoy our days together. It is SO nice! Summer break, please get here FAST! :)