My kids are growing up way too fast. It literally brings tears to my eyes. I just want them to stay little forever. However, I know God has a plan for each and every one of us, and part of that plan is growing. Not just physically, but spiritually as well. I am honored and blessed to have the opportunity to be the mother to these children of mine, and watch them grow into amazing adults as I know that they will.
I have been a Mom for over 8 years. I consider me being a Mom when I got pregnant. I found out I was pregnant for the first time with my precious Marshall in the spring of 2003. I still remember every detail of that day as if it were yesterday. It brings a smile to my face. Kenny and I were living in South Dakota and had a charming little apartment in the famous town of Sturgis. Our apartment had cute little hardwood floors. I still remember the anticipation as we drove the 20 minutes home from walmart with the pregnancy test in our walmart bag. We both worked at that walmart. I was a cashier and Kenny worked in the garden center. We worked in the little cute town of Spear Fish, South Dakota. It was our day off that particular day. We had just bought a computer desk that day as well. We drove home with that little computer desk and pregnancy test in the back.
We worked at such a cute, tiny little walmart. It wasn't a super center. It closed at midnight and Sundays at 10. I quickly made friends with most of the people that worked there. One lady, Valerie, that was a cashier as well had a little boy and a baby girl on the way. She gave me some baby supplies. I remember her giving me some cute baby washcloths and a cute baby hooded towel. I still use them. The hooded towel fits my 3 year old perfectly. And every time I do use the towel and washcloths, I think of her kindness and how she touched my life forever by her sweet and kind little acts of love. Another cute girl, Leah, who was going to college to be a pharmacist's assistant, made a CD for me when she heard I was moving back to Utah. It was so cute and sweet. I listened to that CD most of the way home and many times throughout the months after. It helped my broken heart mend just a little bit by listening to the healing words on each of the songs from the CD. My favorite song was song number 4: Cry Me a River by Justin Timberlake. The words expressed how I was feeling at that very moment. That time in my life was the first time that I had ever felt real pain. I was at the young age of 18. More on that later.
As soon as Kenny and I got home from walmart on that wonderful spring day, we went straight to the bathroom and opened that little box. We waited with more anticipation than we had ever felt before while the test lye there working its magic to give us the life-changing results as to if we were pregnant or not. The moment we saw that we were pregnant we were ecstatic. Beyond ecstatic. My brother-in-law, Bradley, (Kenny's little brother) lived with us at the time. We were thrilled to tell him and everyone else our exciting news that little Marshall was growing inside my little tummy.
Before we knew that it was a boy we had chose names for both genders. If it were to be a girl, her name would be Nikki Taylor. If it were to be a boy, his name would be Marshall Taylor or Ashton Taylor. I was thrilled when I found out it was a boy. I decided to go with the name Marshall, and I'm glad I did. Marshall fits my little amazing boy perfectly.
I didn't find out that I was having a boy the most ordinary of ways. When I was 17 weeks pregnant I had gotten in a car crash while leaving work at walmart and had to get an ultrasound to see if my precious baby was okay. He was, and I could hardly contain my excitement when I was told that I was having a boy. I would have been just as excited if I would have found out it were a girl. I was just so thrilled to know, and to start dreaming of, my little boy being here in my arms. I couldn't wait to get back home and pick up the phone and tell Kenny that we are having a boy! Even though we lived in different states at this time, and weren't sure what our future held for us, we still stayed very connected.
Of course as a mother you think of all the things that your child's future might hold. You wonder what they will look like. What they will be like. What their personality will be like. Who they will spend the rest of their life with. How many cute little kids they will have. And the list goes on and on and on. Oh, how I dreamed of what my son would be like every second of every day. Oh, how I dreamed of holding my precious boy in my arms. I longed for, and counted down the days, until my baby boy would be born and in my arms, right where he belonged.
I must say, Marshall is far more amazing than I ever thought was possible for a little boy to be.
I am blessed to be his Mom, Madison's Mom, Courtney's Mom, and this little Peanut's Mom growing inside of me. Ben and I have chosen a name for our little girl, but that will be revealed later on. :)
Madison, if Mommy is reading this to you, which I'm sure I will, don't worry, your post about you will come later. Courtney, don't you worry either, your post about you will come later as well. Mommy didn't forget to mention you. I just want to take special time out to write about each of you. I won't keep you waiting long. There will be lots more about each and every one of you on here. I love you all!
There are 3 songs that I dedicated to each one of my kids. As I was playing Madison's song first, then Marshall's, then Courtney's, and letting them listen to the song that makes me think about them, I started crying. It touched my heart. I was surprised with myself. I couldn't believe that the tears kept streaming down my face. Courtney looked at me before the tears started rolling and saw that my eyes were watery. She asked why my eyes were going to cry (she said something a lot cuter than that, but I can't remember how she phrased it.) I told her that I'm just really happy. She looked extremely confused. Shortly after the tears fell down my warm cheeks, Courtney looked back again and asked me once again why my eyes were crying. I told her once again that I am just so happy. And I was!
I love my kids more than life itself. Each one of them hold my heart in their tiny little precious hands. They know just how to make my heart skip a beat, melt, smile, and just swell up with happiness.
So here is a short story about a small section, but an extremely important and marvelous section, of my life. There will be more to come, so if you're interested, stay tuned.
Happy Veterans Day and 11-11-11! Pretty cool, huh!
