Christmas 2012

Christmas this year was so magical. I'm sad it's over. We got to celebrate it twice this year since we didn't have 2 of our daughters with us until the day after Christmas. We sure missed them, but I can tell you that I didn't cry on Christmas day this year like I did the first year they were gone on Christmas. I did all my crying the day they left. Then I let it go, and had a great time with my husband and 2 other children. It was still sad, but I am learning, with time, how to handle it much better. Time is healing the pain! All my praise be to the Lord for mending my wounds and making me a better me.
My favorite part about this time of year is getting to see my children's faces light up. There is also just something about the lights, music, and cheerfulness in the air that makes this time of year so special. Anything for us to all join together and celebrate our Savior is so magical.
This year I made sure we had all the gifts wrapped before Christmas Eve. My husband was a great help. My husband and I are usually busy wrapping gifts all Christmas Eve night after the kids go to bed. Blah! So not fun! I wanted it to be low key and relaxing this year. I didn't do any wrapping, but my husband sure did. He wrapped my gifts on Christmas Eve. Hehe.
On Christmas Eve we spent the day delivering treats to our neighbors and friends, sipping on homemade crock pot hot chocolate (it is delicious. I'll post the recipe later), watching Christmas movies, watching the snow falling down making it a beautiful white Christmas, opening a Christmas Eve gift, driving around town to look at all the beautiful Christmas lights, reading the story of the birth of Jesus from the Bible, and watching the King is Born. We had such a great day.
On Christmas day we opened gifts, watched movies, I made a Christmas dinner and had 2 of my sisters, my sister's boyfriend, my grandma, and my parents over for Christmas dinner. We had a wonderful day playing games, eating, and enjoying each other's company.




Marshall's Chrismas Eve pajamas

Myriam's Christmas Eve pajamas



Santa came!
Our tree looks kind of silly.
We had to take the ribbon off the bottom part of the tree, and move all of the decorations on the bottom part of the tree  to the middle and top of the tree. That's why our tree looks so crowded and just thrown together.
All thanks to having a baby in the house who thinks it's fun to eat, and play in, the Christmas tree :)

He filled our stockings too!



Ben got a picture of Marshall taking his first peek on Christmas morning!

Marshall and Myriam opening their first gift on Christmas morning!

Marshall was so sweet to help Myriam open her gifts!

She is so adorable!

I love how Marshall is taking Myriam's hand and helping her open her present



Santa left a note with one of Marshall's presents explaining that when he was on our roof and had gotten out of his sleigh, one of Marshall's presents dropped out of his bag, and Rudolph accidentally stepped on it. That was why the box to his gift was dented on one side. He let Marshall know that Rudolph felt very bad, and that it was personally re wrapped by Santa.
He also told Marshall that he has been a very good boy.

So cute! I can't help but notice Marshall's red lips. He was just eating a red ring pop haha.  



Two of my loves taking a much needed nap on Christmas day

 

Christmas Dinner! Just waiting on the meat.



I love him! He is so handsome!

Look at my Grandma. Isn't she just so cute!?



Mady and Courtney opening their first gifts at our house!

They are too cute!

I have never seen anyone get this excited over getting leggings and church shoes!
Makes me happy.



Mady hugging her new church shoe. Silly girl!



A shoe? Why yes, I think I will.



She is claiming Courtney's stocking, Mady's shoe, and Courtney's dolly diaper and bottle set.
She is so funny.



Myriam loves the sparkly shoes. She likes to eat them hehe!

                                          



He is so handsome!



Whoa! What a mess!

 Merry Christmas from our home to yours! We hope you had a Christ-filled Christmas full of love and joy!

Saying goodbye but only for a moment

It is 2:30 Christmas morning yet I can't seem to sleep. My heart is so full and joyful yet so heavy and sad.
Last Friday, Mady and Courtney's (2 of my daughters) dad and step-mom came to pick them up to take them out of state for 5 days for Christmas vacation. I tried to be happy for them, but as I held them so tight in my arms on the couch the hour before they left, I could feel my nerves twisting in my gut. My 4 year old daughter told me she was nervous to go to Idaho because she was afraid she would be too shy. I tried to calm her nerves by expressing optimism. When I was zipping their coats up for them to leave, I felt like I was going to puke. I held it together for them. I put a smile on my face and said as energetic as I could, "Merry Christmas! You will have so much fun. I'm going to miss you, but I'm glad you get to spend Christmas with your dad and step-mom, and you will have so much fun seeing and playing with your cousins, grandma, aunts, and uncles. I love you very much." I squeezed them in my arms so tight, and walked them outside. I sat on the porch and watched them for as long as I could handle, then walked in the house. My sweet husband could sense that I needed him because he was waiting for me just inside the door. I didn't have to say anything that was on my mind, he knew. He wrapped me in his arms and my tears streamed quickly onto his shoulder. Through my tears, I managed to say, "This just isn't fair. I miss them so much. No mother should ever have to be away from their child on Christmas. There is no love like a mother has for her child. No one loves them more than I do." This was a very weak moment of mine. Yes, I was being extremely selfish, this I know. I dried my eyes, and put on a smile for my other 2 wonderful children.
The reason I share this extremely personal (and selfish) experience is out of inspiration far greater than I understand. Inspiration from my loving Heavenly Father. I know there are people out there struggling with this very situation. I want you all to know that I understand. I know it's hard. But I also know that time and trusting in the Lord makes it easier. I know that God works in mysterious ways. I know that these experiences will make me stronger. It is hard. The hardest thing I have ever went through. I love my kids more than life itself. When they are away, a part of me is gone with them. Keep the faith. God will never abandon us.
I'm not proud of my mistakes and down moments, but I won't hide behind a shadow and not share what I know my Heavenly Father wants me to share just because I'm scared of being judged. Maybe this is to humble me, maybe it is supposed to help someone else. This I do not yet know. But, I know I will gratefully do God's work.
Merry Christmas to all. May we all remember Christ while we celebrate His birth!

Marshall's 9th birthday! Your letter included!

My baby boy turned 9 on December 19! I cannot believe he is already 9. It doesn't seem that long ago that I was just holding him in my arms for the first time. Time flies. It is oh so bitter sweet.
Marshall chose some friends to take to Provo to play laser tag and eat pizza for his birthday. Ben, our girls, Sherrie & Terrie (Marshall's Aunts), and I went up to Laser Assault in Provo with Marshall and his friends.
When Marshall got home from school, we started getting ready to head up to his party. He started complaining of feeling sick. I checked his temp, and he had a low grade fever. I gave him medicine, and we gave it a try to go. He did well once the medicine kicked in. He did good up until he came home and got into bed. He started to run a fever again and complaining again. I gave him some medicine and he fevered off and on the next couple of day. Poor little guy. Thank goodness for medicine that kept the fever under control. 3 days later, he is now just coughing and sniffling. Other than that, he is feeling much better.
I think he had a good birthday. He sure is a happy, good kid.
I have been making it a goal of mine to write each person in my family a letter for their birthday. Here is Marshall's letter:

Dear Marshall,

You have a such a special spirit. I don't understand how you are so happy-go-lucky all the time... but you are. I wish I could be half as great as you are. No boy deserves to have gone through all that you have in the short amount of time that you have been on this earth. I am so deeply sorry for the actions I have made in my life that have caused you to hurt. As for the other people that have hurt you, I am deeply sorry. Just remember, it has made you stronger because of it.
You are the cutest boy I know, and you are such a good big brother to your beautiful little sisters. They look up to you so much, and just adore you. I know you will all remain close throughout your lives. Thank you for taking such good care of them, and for looking out for them all the time.
You are a true gentlemen. Ben is teaching you so well. I know that you are seeing how he is with me, and that makes me so happy.
One day after school when you and Madison were walking to our car, you were in front of her, and you turned around and saw that she was struggling to carry all of her papers, her backpack, and her coat. Once you were aware of this station, you turned around and helped her carry her stuff the rest of the way to the car. I honestly don't know any 9 year old boys that would do that for their little sister. Most kids don't recognize that kind of stuff, and would go on their little merry way (in my opinion).
You have such a giving heart.
I am so proud of how well you keep your room clean. Thank you for your help around the house. Thank you for all of your sweet letters that you write me. And thank you for all of the pictures you draw for me. You never fail at letting all of us know just how much you love us.
I love you more than words can express. I will always be here for you. There is nothing that you cannot accomplish without hard work and desire.
You are still so little, and have so much to learn. I promise you that Ben and I will do our best to teach you the the things that you will need to learn to make it in this life. But in the end, it will be up to you where you take your life. I know you will make great decisions and go far in life. Excuse your mistakes. Know you're not perfect, and never will be. Don't kick yourself for too long when you make mistakes. Strive to be better. Say sorry when necessary. And never let past mistakes haunt you and hold you back. Mistakes are a part of life. You will make plenty of them, just as we all have and will continue to do. They are meant to make you a better, stronger person, so let them. Learn from them. Don't let them break you down. You are better than that. Never forget you are strong and capable of anything. The adversary will shout in your ear things that will make you doubt yourself and doubt what is good. Remember where that is coming from. You are a child of God. There is no greater gift. Remember how great you really are. Also, never ever forget just how loved you are. There are so many people who love you so much, and want nothing but the best for you.
I have loved you even before you were here, and I will love you everyday for the rest of forever.

Love,
Mom

Today......

Today I watched Courtney, my 4 year old, run around in her underwear all morning. She was in protest and refused to get dressed. I watched her take a baby wipe to wash off her food-splattered face. She left just enough left-over food on the tip of her nose to still notice.
I made my baby laugh by lifting her up in the air and bringing her down just low enough to kiss her, and then starting all over again. I played copy-cat and mimicked every noise she made. She liked that game. While I nursed her, I rubbed my thumb across the top of her soft, silky-smooth hand while she clasped my finger tight in her little chubby baby fingers.
I saw the excitement in Marshall, my 8 year old, as he tried on his new Halloween costume for Ben to see. I watched him wrestling with his sisters and heard him making his little karate noises followed by little chuckles. I sat there while Courtney and Marshall bickered over who got to sit by me, and realized that all too soon they won't be fighting over who gets to sit by mom.
I got the biggest kiss from Madison, my 6 year old. While we were in the middle of watching Tangled for our family movie night, I said that after the movie is over I would pop some popcorn and we could watch AFV- America's funniest home videos. She shouted YAY, and the squished her cute little button nose, and her soft little pink lips as hard as she could into my cheek. She then followed by telling me that was the biggest kiss she has ever given me. And yes, yes it was. And all over popcorn and AFV. I have gotten some big kisses before, but this one topped them all. ;)
I watched Ben as he played with the kids. I watched him make an eclair cake for his friend who just had a birthday. He made some for us too, and it was delicious just as it always is. I was able to finish laundry, cleaning, and make dinner while he took the 3 older kids to the park to play.
As for myself, I realized just how important my role as a wife, mother, daughter, granddaughter, sister, aunt, niece, friend, neighbor etc. really is. I realized that life can change in a split second, and to cherish everything, especially the small things. I also learned to love myself a little more today than yesterday.

While I reflect back on my day, I wonder how many of these tiny things that I'll actually remember in the years ahead. Will I remember Courtney going on a protest, and hanging out in her underwear all morning? Will I remember the excitement in Marshall's eyes as he tried on his new Halloween costume? Will  remember the biggest kiss ever from Madison? Will I remember the sound of Myriam's cute little baby laugh, and softness of her silky-smooth baby skin?
Will I remember dancing and singing with my kids in the kitchen while I make pancakes for breakfast?
Maybe not. And that's okay. I know that I won't remember ever single detail of every single day. But, in the years ahead when I look back to this time in my life, I may not remember every single detail, but I will remember how I felt at this time in my life. And more importantly, my kids and my husband will remember these feelings, too.

Naps and an update

We love taking naps around here. I just love Courtney's post nap hair-style in the photo below. We are not used to these early mornings after a sleep-in-every-morning summer.
We're  not quite into a routine yet. It seems like the more I try to get a schedule down,  the more chaotic it gets. I'm starting to think that maybe schedules aren't for me.
We are so ready to welcome the fall. After all, it is my favorite. I just love the fresh, crisp, cool air. I love the sight and smell of anything pumpkin or apple baking. I love the holidays. I am ready to start this new chapter, and ring in fall 2012.
Marshall is in soccer and Ben is teaching him karate. The girls are taking dance from the city. They hate it. And Myriam stays at home close in my arms. I love it.
Marshall and Madison are now enjoying 3rd and 1st grade. It was a little struggle at first.
Madison has 2 hairline fractures on her left arm. She and her friend were chasing Marshall. Her friend accidentally stepped on her foot while they were running, and Mady went tumbling down. She skidded up her knees and arm pretty good. She's a trooper.
Courtney loves preschool. She has her backpack that has wheels so she can pull it along, so she is happy. After seeing a girl from Madison's preschool class have one of those, she's had her mind set on getting one. She has been asking for one for 2 years now.
Myriam is so fun. She loves to smile. We all love making her laugh and smile. She is such a happy baby. We are blessed to have her part of our family. She is getting ready to start crawling any day now. Oddly enough, I think she'll be crawling before she sits up alone without support.
And Ben and I are just trying to keep our brains functioning as we take on the demanding task of raising 4 kids. But we love it.
Well that pretty much sums it up.

Happy 6th Birthday Madison! Your letter included!

Okay, so I know that I am a bit behind on my blogging. Mady turning 6 on July 25th. I hope to do better as this is a journal for my family to look back on and reminisce on our memories together.

I honestly cannot believe that Mady is already 6. She is in 1st grade. She goes to school all day now. It's hard for me to let her grow up so fast, but I know I have to.

On Mady's birthday we spent the day with just us. I did a little photo shoot of Mady. She just loved it. Then we let her open her presents, and then headed up to Build-a-Bear where she created her very own teddy bear. She named her Sara, and she sleeps with her every night.

We had a birthday party for her with her cousins and friends the day after her birthday. We reserved the city building. They did fun activities, and they had a couple bounce houses set up. She had a fun birthday full of smiles and laughter.

 

Madison,                                                                                                                                                  

You have grown so much over the past year. You are becoming more independent as the days go on. It is a bittersweet thing for Mommy to see. I just want you to stay little forever. I want you to enjoy the innocence of childhood for it will be over before you know it. On the other hand, it is so much fun seeing you grow. You have lost your cute little chubby baby cheeks. You are looking more and more grown up by the day. I love you more than words can express.

Here are some words of advice I have for you:

1. Never try to be someone you're not. 

2. Stay true to yourself, and remember that you are loved.

3. Never let anyone define who you are. You decide who you are, and you define yourself.

4. When you get older, you will date. Let the boys pay for your date and hold the door for you. It is not old fashioned to be a gentlemen, so let the boys you date be gentlemen.

5. Remember to dance in the rain.

6. Smile every single day even if you don't feel like smiling.

7. Never ever doubt your self worth.

8. Never forget that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love you more than we can comprehend. Kneel down and pray often. Even if you don't think your prayers are being heard, pray anyway. I promise you that you ARE being heard. Never doubt.

9. I cannot promise you that you will never face hard times in your life, but I CAN promise you that you will never face those hard times alone.

10. Your parents and siblings love you more than words can express. We are always here for you. You have 4 parents who want to be here for you every step of the way.

11. Share your talents with other, for you have many talents. You especially have a beautiful singing voice. 

12. You will only go as far as you push yourself, so push yourself hard. There will be days where you feel like giving up. Remember who that is making you feel like giving up, and be assured that it is not Heavenly Father because He wants you to succeed. 

13. Enjoy the simple things in life.

14. A beautiful face doesn't make someone beautiful, it's a beautiful soul that defines beauty. So be happy, enjoy life, and let your beauty shine. You are beautiful inside and out.

15. The LDS church IS the true church. Many people will try to stray your beliefs, but never doubt the truth in this gospel.

16. Be kind

17. Love with all your heart. Even if you get hurt, love with all your heart. A life without full love is not a life at all.

18. Choose your friends wisely

19. Share your testimony as often as possible. Even if people get offended, share it anyway.

20. Look at life with an eternal perspective. It will make life's trials more bearable. I love you more than life itself. I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.

 

Love, Mommy

 

 

I just got done reading Madison her letter, and this is what she had to say, "Mom, when can I play with Addison? Oh, and I LOVE IT!"

 Ha ha! She will find more meaning in it when she is older and can comprehend all that is being said.

She makes me smile Every. Single. Day.

 

 

 

Mady and Courtney are in love with red lipstick. I let them wear it for special occasions.

Mady washing her build a bear

Sara is all decked out with an outfit, shoes, backpack, sunglasses and bows for her ears.

Welcome to the family Sara :)

 

 

Her Kit-Kat cake was so much fun, and so easy to make. Yes, there is real cake in there ;)

Happy 6th to my favorite Mady in the world :)

Heavy heart

Tonight the minutes tick by effortlessly. Fast at first, until my mind becomes consumed by something that I've been trying to press away from my mind for a couple of weeks now.
Now that the fear has crept back in, the minutes seem to move by slowly. My eyes are just as heavy as my heart.
I took my son in for his yearly heart check-up. I was told that everything looks great. After that, the doctor followed by saying that three letter word that I always dread..... BUT. As she said that three letter word, my heart dropped. I tried to act calm as I was trying to convince myself that everything was fine. I'm used to preparing myself for bad news in a way that I can bear it. She told me that the left side of his heart is growing bigger than the right side of his heart. She doesn't know why, but they need to keep an eye on it.
My thoughts went something like this, "Okay. He's okay. He's okay, right? Yes, he's okay. No need to worry. What does that exactly mean though? One side of his heart is growing bigger than the other side? I have been told many worrisome things about my son before. Like when I was pregnant with him, I was told that he may be like a vegetable. He may not be able to walk, or talk. I was told that there was fluid around his heart, and that a part in his brain wasn't measuring correctly. Now look at him. He's the cutest, happiest, healthiest boy I know. He's a fighter. I've also been told that when I was pregnant with my daughter, Madison, that she may have cystic fibrosis. Well, she doesn't. She's the cutest, happiest, healthiest little 5 (almost 6 :)) year old girl I know. But what does this heart growing bigger on one side mean? He has to get his heart checked yearly for life anyway, so they should be able to catch it quick if something goes wrong. It will be okay..... right? Right!"
Well, the doctor told me not to worry, that it's nothing to worry about. They will just do an echo next year to see what his heart is doing, and they will keep an eye on it. She said that everything looks good from the surgery. But don't worry is the advice she gave me.
What I've been wondering this whole time is how on earth does she expect a mother not to worry after hearing something like that? I feel helpless. The not knowing is hard. I push it out of my mind the best I can because worrying will do no good for myself or my family. My focus is on being the best Wife and Mother that I can possibly be because that is the difference I can make in my family's lives now. I can make a difference now, right here in the present, and worrying will not help matters in a positive way.
But tonight, I lay here, typing, with a heavy heart. But knowing that we are blessed with having such a wonderful life, and knowing that tomorrow will be a beautiful new day, is what makes everything okay.

Your Child's Hidden Gift to You

I love the following article! I hope you all enjoy it just as much as I did!

Is it just me or are a lot of parents cranky, rushed, frustrated and resentful these days?

Has this ever happened to you?

The alarm goes off and instead of slowly waking up your mind snaps into action and begins to race as you review the day’s to do list. Your heart pounds as you wonder how you’re going to get it all done! You find yourself consumed with frustration and you’ve only been up for 3 minutes! You think: today is going to suck!

Circle of Moms member Melissa M. is stressed, too, “…Some days I feel like the worst mother in the world because I can't get everything done, while other days I feel so resentful… I feel like I'm entitled to a break every once in awhile as well.”

The pace of life has changed for everyone. We all feel rushed, frustrated and exhausted from meeting our daily commitments and living in what feels like a pressure cooker 24/7.

To attain more balance in our lives, we try all kinds of things: we eat organically, run, walk, or do yoga to help our bodies manage and release the stress. Some see a therapist to release the pain of the past.

Did you know there’s something your child does every single day that can change the way you look at your stressful, busy life?

Watch your child at play, at rest, eating, and interacting with others. She’s 100% focused on whatever she’s doing. She plays with wild abandon and seems to inhale enjoyment with every breath. She’s living in the moment and thrilled to be alive.

I know you’re stressed; we’re all stressed to one degree or another. Believe it or not some of the pressure you feel comes from how you’re thinking about what’s going on in your life.

W. Mitchell says, “It’s not what happens to you, it’s what you do about it.”

Wayne Dyer reminds us “Change your thoughts, and you change your world.”

Those are not just platitudes. They’re life keys that explain how to manage the stress and frustration you’re dealing with. Yes, the concept is simple, but aren’t most basic truths in life the simplest?

To “change your thoughts,” participate in your daily activities the way a child would. Be 100% focused on each activity or interaction, and only that activity. One thing at a time, as they say!

If your mind wanders to a stressful place or tries to focus on something you’ll be doing at the end of the day, bring your thoughts back to what you’re doing now and remind yourself, I’m washing the dishes right now, I’m not rushing the kids to school or making dinner. Right now all I need to do is pay attention to washing the dishes.

When rushing and stressed, take control of your thoughts. Thinking, We’re going to be late, again! actually slows you down and sucks your energy because you’re consumed with negative thinking. But focusing on how yummy the food is or enjoying how silly the kids are, energizes you, leads you to peaceful feelings and sets the tone for your day.

Many are quoted as having said, “Watch your thoughts for they become your words…” Lots of moms say, “I’m so busy, overwhelmed and stressed. There’s never any time for me!”

Chanting those thoughts over and over again, not only sets the tone for the day, it produces more stress, and makes you feel like you have no choices about your life.
We can’t change what’s on our plate, but we can change how we feel about it.

So let your child’s way of looking at life be her gift to you. It’s priceless!


Sharon Silver is the author of Stop Reacting and Start Responding and the Parenting Skills e-class. Go to proactiveparenting.net to download two free chapters from her book and learn about the Proactive Parenting flagship big-picture program. Find Sharon on Twitter and Facebook.

Swagger Wagon = Hilarious!

This is hilarious! Anyone in need of a good laugh? Comin' right up! Just hit play.
I drive an SUV, but it's close enough to a van..... right?
Funny stuff!

Focus and Priorities

The following words below is a talk , Focus and Priorities, given by Dallin H. Oaks at the April 2001 General Conference.

I found this talk on facebook. It is refreshing, and just what I needed to read. I have been wasting so much time this summer by being lazy, and I have been getting so overwhelmed with all the time I have been wasting. This is just the inspiration I have been needing.

LDS General Conference

Our priorities are most visible in how we use our time. Someone has said, “Three things never come back—the spent arrow, the spoken word, and the lost opportunity.” We cannot recycle or save the time allotted to us each day. With time, we have only one opportunity for choice, and then it is gone forever.


Good choices are especially important in our family life. For example, how do family members ...spend their free time together? Time together is necessary but not sufficient. Priorities should govern us in the precious time we give to our family relationships. Compare the impact of time spent merely in the same room as spectators for television viewing with the significance of time spent communicating with one another individually and as a family.

To cite another example, how much time does a family allocate to learning the gospel by scripture study and parental teachings, in contrast to the time family members spend viewing sports contests, talk shows, or soap operas? I believe many of us are overnourished on entertainment junk food and undernourished on the bread of life.

The ultimate Latter-day Saint priorities are twofold: First, we seek to understand our relationship to God the Eternal Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, and to secure that relationship by obtaining their saving ordinances and by keeping our personal covenants. Second, we seek to understand our relationship to our family members and to secure those relationships by the ordinances of the temple and by keeping the covenants we make in that holy place. These relationships, secured in the way I have explained, provide eternal blessings available in no other way. No combination of science, success, property, pride, prominence, or power can provide these eternal blessings!