Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Letter to my littles

Today has been a hard day. I cried a lot last night. In fact, I woke up with my eyes swollen from all of the tears I had recently shed. I went to work with puffy eyes, and the sweet girls I work with gave me tips on how to get my eyes back into shape. They recommended things like to put cucumbers on my eyes to help with the swelling, and to put potato slices on my eyes to help with the bags under my eyes. I feel lucky to work with such wonderful people.
I know I should be sleeping, I have a long day ahead of me, but my mind won't shut off, and the pain I feel deep inside my chest, my throat, my whole entire body, won't seem to lighten tonight. I know I need to pray and ask for this burden to be lightened.... Even if it's just long enough for me to sleep. But, in the meantime I decided to get on here and write a letter to my children. You never know how short life can be, and what events may take place. So, if the unfortunate strikes, and God calls me home a little earlier than I'd like, I want my kids to be able to read about our lives together, and I want them to have councel from me, even if I'm not able to do it in person. With that said, I hope we all live a long, happy, healthy life together.

My dearest children,
You are the loves of my life. Always have been, always will be. 
I'm sorry for the events that have taken place over the past little while. I know your delicate minds can't fully comprehend all the reasons why our lives have changed. Just know that I am doing my best to get our happy life back. Our lives won't ever be the same as before, but that's ok, because our lives will be much, much better. I know life was great and happy before, but it will be even better, this I promise.
I look at you all, and I feel like I have let you all down. And in all honesty, I have let you down, and I am deeply sorry for that. But, deep down I know you will be stronger because of it. We all will be.
Here are some things that I want you all to always remember:

1) Always remember that you are worth so much
2) Never let anyone define who you are. YOU are the only one who can do that
3) Never listen to anyone speak ill of you. If you hear it, walk away. You're better than that.
4) It's ok to make mistakes. We are all human. Just try your best, and strengthen yourselves where you are weak. I know I make it sound easy, but believe me, I know how hard it is. Always know that just because something is hard, doesn't mean it isn't possible.
5) Do not, do not, do not EVER waste your time and energy on hatred or anger. Those two things will only hold you back, and it will affect you more than the people you may struggle with.
6) Get an education. It is so important and vital.
7) Don't be afraid to push yourself at times. 
8) Never sit around and expect the world to give you a good life. If you do that, you'll be waiting a long time. Go get the life you know you deserve. Hard work always, always pays off.
9) Don't let fear ever hold you back from achieving something you really want. The sky and beyond is your limit, so never stop trying to achieve what you want.
10) choose your friends wisely. They will have a huge impact on your life. Be the better. Be a leader, not a follower. Learn to be independent. You can do it. Don't be afraid.
11) Get out in the world. Help the needy, but not at the expense of being taken advantage of. Travel. Explore. See new things, and meet lots of people. Live, laugh, and love every single day.
12) Smile every day. Your smile brightens the world and your soul.
13) Dance in the rain. Go sledding even when you're old. Learn to play the guitar or piano or violin or whatever it is you have a passion for. The more you learn, the better off you'll be.
14) Love with all of your heart and soul, even if you get hurt. It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. Don't give up on love easily. Fight for what is right.
15) Last, but certainly not least, pray pray pray, and do it often. God knows all that has been, and that will be. He loves you ALWAYS, no matter what!!!!! Never forget to thank God daily for your many blessings. Never forget to count your many blessings, and look at the bright side of things.

I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, no matter what happens, my babies you'll be.
Mom xoxo
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