Monday, May 27, 2013

The letter and summer break

The other day I saw this letter that Madison wrote for me just laying on my living room floor. Madison and Courtney were gone for the weekend with their father.
It made me smile. 
I am blessed.

 It reads:
"Mom, you are wonderful. You make me smile. You know I love you more then ever, more than the earth can take."

It is officially summer break! I am ecstatic. No more school for 3 months! Wahoo!
On the last day of school I threw these little gifts together for my children's teachers. They are cheesy, but it's the thought that counts, right?
The card tied to the top reads, "Thank you for making me one smart cookie."
Lots of sun, swimming, and playing to be done around here.
I hope you all enjoy your summer break, too!

Wednesday, May 15, 2013


Have you ever had those times in life where you get worked on really hard? Of course you have. We all have. The past little while has been like that for me. Last week was a tough, tough week for me. One particular afternoon last week, I had physical therapy in Spanish Fork. On the drive up, I was alone. I was crying. I put on my sunglasses to try to hide my tears from the cars that surrounded me, from the world. Soon, my glasses started to fog up so I had to keep taking them off and cleaning them. Through the midst of my tears I started venting to God. I was so frustrated and hurt. I was telling God that if He is real, then He needs to take this great burden away from me. I was also telling Him that I am tired of the trials that we have to face in this life. I was being very ungrateful. I pulled up to my physical therapist's office with my eyes red and puffy. I applied some makeup the best I could, but I know I looked just awful. After 2 hours at my physical therapy appointment, I left for a salon in Springville. My husband was so supportive of me, and told me to take all the time I needed. And I did just that. I got my very first facial. I got a chemical peal. It was amazing, and just what I needed. I ended my night with dinner at wingers, and a movie. I saw The Big Wedding. I was solo in the theater. No one else was there but me. It was kind of weird, but nice. I ended my night with sub zero frozen yogurt. On my way home I was still overwhelmed and still extremely sad. However, I knew I had 2 choices, I could make my trials make me or break me. I was, and still am, determined to let my trials make me into a better, stronger person.
The following day I had the song Try by Pink playing on my CD player in my home. I looked at my baby and saw her standing up and falling. She did this over and over and over again. She has been doing this for the past month. Each day she gets a little further without falling. As I watched my baby get up, take a few steps, wobble, and fall, the lyrics to Pink's song opened up something inside of me. "We've got to get up and try" is what the song says over and over and over again. Watching my baby doing just that inspired me. I am thankful for my children, and all that they teach me.
We are born with the tendency to keep trying, and to never give up. I will never lose the will to rise above, stronger than before. I will succeed. We all can if we strive to be better each and every day. Needless to say, this week has gone much better. It's so important to stay positive and to NEVER GIVE UP!

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

The innocence of childhood at its best

The other day my 5 year old daughter, Courtney, asked me how old she will be when her sister, Mady dies. How do you respond to something like that? I think I told her something like she will be very, very old.
In a child's mind, their parents know everything. I remember feeling completely protected as a child because I thought my parents knew it all. I thought they knew exactly how everything ran, and that it was simple to them. I didn't have to worry about how the bills were paid, how hard my dad worked to support the family, how many loads of laundry my mother did, and how much time it took my mother and older siblings to get food on the table. It's not always as easy for parents as children like to think. Yesterday Myriam puked on my back, the kids were extra ornery getting ready for school, and all I wanted to do yesterday was cry, and that's just what I did, I cried, a lot.
I miss the innocence of childhood. I realize that my children are living in that complete isolated place right now. They think that I know everything. For all they know, money grows on trees. They know that their bellies are full, their home is warm, and they can come to their parents whenever they need anything. They won't always be told yes to every request or demand, but they know they will always find comfort in their parents. They are completely content and satisfied. Okay, other than occasionally having "the meanest mom in the world" when I won't let them do anything and everything they want anytime they want. But, they know they have the people in their lives that love them more than anyone else does. I will always be here to love and protect my children. However, I am a full believer that children need to learn from their OWN mistakes. I cannot, and should not, protect them from these learning experiences. I am a full believer in the love and logic parenting way. I attended their classes a few months ago. That was one of the best things I could have done. If you're interested, just visit
I guess my point to all of this is that we need to let children relish in the innocence of their childhood. So many times children are being pushed to be older than they really are. We need to take a step back from our busy lives and just let our kids be kids. I need to learn to do this more often. I'm not saying my outlook is the right way. But, it is what I believe to be true.
The reason I type my thoughts down like this is so that my children can look back and read what I was feeling when they were little. I want them to know what it was like for me, for all of us. I want them to remember not only the big things, but the small things as well. I want them to be able to look back and reminisce on their childhood. I wish my mother would have written down her thoughts when I was little. As a child, I never took too much time to see what things were like for her. I just trusted that she had it ALL figured out. Now that I am a mother, I would really like to know what her frame of mind was when I was little and in her home. I know that when I am much older, and my children are grown, I will forget a lot of how I felt at this time in my life. Sure, I will remember the important things like how happy my children made me. I'll remember the hugs, the kisses, and the laughs. But, I probably won't remember these little thoughts that crossed my mind. I'm sure I will remember some, but most certainly not all of them. My mind is constantly going. If I don't type my thoughts down, it often passes and I forget. If my children are reading this, and we are all much older, just know that I love you so so much. You are the world to me. I am thankful to be your mommy. I wouldn't trade you for the world. There isn't a day that goes by, or that will go by, where I won't be thinking of you. You are the loves of my life.

Until next time, XOXO 

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

And the knee says no

Courtney, Myriam and I headed up to Provo this afternoon for a doctors appointment for myself.
As I have stated in some of my previous posts, I have started running. I must have pushed myself too hard last week because my knee started hurting. I gave it a few days of rest, and tried to go running with one of my friends yesterday. I barely made it home. When I did make it home, I called and made an appointment for today with and orthopedic doctor.
My knee was killing me the rest of the day. I haven't felt pain like that in a long time. It was excruciating. I could barely walk let alone make it up the stairs throughout the day.  By night time, it became worse. After a long day, I lay in bed with the throbbing pain. No matter which way I positioned my knees, it hurt. After carefully tossing and turning several times, I finally gave in and took some pain medicine. I don't resort to taking medicine unless I absolutely need it. I'm weird like that. I lied down on my back and propped my legs up on a couple fluffy pillows while letting the pain medicine kick in. I was finally able to drift off to sleep after that. By morning, the pain was much much better, but still hurting.
At the doctor's office, I was given x-rays. They looked normal. The doctor said my knee is really inflamed so he put me on and anti inflammatory prescription. I have to take it for 3 months. I was given a cortisone shot, and I have to do physical therapy as well. He said if the pain isn't going away in 3 weeks, I have to get and MRI to see if it's cracked.
When the doctor gave me the cortisone shot in my knee, Courtney looked horrified. She plugged her ears, and started trembling in fear. I felt so bad for her. I'm not gonna lie, it hurt. I tried to get her to hold my hand so I could be brave while he gave me the shot, but she refused. She didn't want to get near me. Myriam just kept giving all the people who helped me weird looks. She didn't understand why all these different people were touching her mama. She stayed in her stroller the whole time. She was such a good girl, thanks to Courtney being a big helper and pushing her around the room for me.
After 2 hours at the doctor's office, we finally left for home.
So, I can't run for awhile. I'm not sure how long I'll be out of the running game. I'm super bummed out. I will be doing lots of upper body workouts in the meantime.
 I bought these bad boys last week. I am in love with them. They will be taking a break for a min while my body heals. Once my knee heals, I have to start back up slow.
Now that summer is approaching quickly, I itch to get out into the wilderness. I itch to run, to hike, to sweat.
Hopefully I will heal quickly, and will be back on the pavement and trails soon enough.
Nothing will keep me down.
Prayers are welcomed and very much appreciated.
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