Thursday, October 6, 2011

Surprise surprise, a snowy day, and my goodbye letter

3 posts in 1

We are having a GIRL!! :)
Our family will continue to be over-ruled by girls. Now that is kind of a scary thought because the boys are the more calm ones of our bunch. But hey, there will never be a dull day in our household. Weather it be girls crying over their boyfriends or friend drama, or ranting and raving because their hair isn't absolutely perfect, or because it's that time of the month...... when those days are long gone here, and the kids are grown and off starting their families, and the quiet entraps me, I will miss these 'never a dull day in our household' days. They will be lived and cherished.


We had our first snowfall of the season here. I love gloomy days like these. The past 2 days have been blissful for me. I think I'm ready for the 'cuddling on the couch in a big huge blanket with my kids drinking hot chocolate' days. Oh yes, I'm so ready. There is nothing better.
We are going to Sundance this Tuesday, so hopefully the weather will cooperate that day. Fingers crossed, prayers said!
I am loving having a garage. Especially with this cold weather. It is heavenly. This will be my first fall/winter season that I've ever been able to take advantage of the luxuries of having a garage. No more dusting the snow off the car in the morning. Could it get much better than that?
The fireplace has been keeping us toasty warm today. I think I'm in love!
Get your mug of hot chocolate ready. Are you ready? Mugs up..... Cheers!!.... to the next 6 months of snow! Welcome to good ol' Utah!

Dear Grandma,
I contemplated whether or not I should write you this letter. After much debating I decided to write it.
You may not be my Grandma legally, but you will always be my Grandma in my heart.
I didn't go see you at the hospital as you were passing. I wanted to, but when I asked someone if it was alright if I go see you, I was told that I wasn't wanted there and that I shouldn't go. I was told that I am no longer apart of that family, so there was no need to go. I was told that you didn't approve of my actions in the past and that you wouldn't want to see me. These words were hurtful, but out of respect, I stayed away. I don't really believe that you didn't want to see me. I know you have too much love in your heart for that. I just didn't want to cross my boundaries and cause problems.
I have had a strong inspiration for the past year to write you a letter. I wanted to thank you for your inspiration and guidance and ask for your advice and guidance. I never wrote you that letter because I was afraid. I was afraid that you might hate me. I was afraid that you didn't want to hear from me. Deep down I knew better though. I hope that one day we can meet in heaven and I can talk to you about the things I wanted to tell you in that letter.
I enjoyed that Summer that Matt, the kids, and I went to your house and planted flowers in your yard. That is a day that I will never forget.
I will always look up to you. You are an amazing lady. I will always strive to live my life as you lived yours. You have an amazing family with lots of love. I know you are so pleased.
I remember the first time I met you over 7 years ago. I sat in your living room with my little baby boy and Matt. I listened and laughed as Grandpa Bates told his jokes. Oh how I loved his jokes. I especially loved repeating his jokes to other people. I felt bad for the pain you were in. I believe you were having problems with your foot. I remember how sweet and kind you were to me and my son. You were always sweet and kind to me and my kids. You accepted my son as if he were your own blood. That means the world to me. It shows just what a wonderful lady you are.
My kids will miss you, I will miss you, and I know lots of other people will miss you. I love you, my kids love you, and we are blessed to have had you in our lives.
The world has lost a wonderful person and heaven has gained a wonderful person.
You will always be in my mind and heart.
Remember that note your wrote to Matt and I after we went through the temple? I do. I want you to know that I think about that letter often and that I will always cherish it.
I want you to know that the kids and I are truly happy. I have a lot of hurt and sadness to work through. Some of it was caused by self affliction and some was not. Either way, it doesn't matter. Every day seems brighter and the weight off my shoulders sheds more and more. I feel blessed to be where I am in my life now. It feels good to be truly happy.
I love you.
So goodbye for now, but not forever.



Nat said...


She sure was wonderful, wasn't she? I am so so sad. At least Grandma and Grandpa are together again.

Congratulations on your baby girl!

Jamie said...

Thanks Nat! :)
Yes, she was absolutely wonderful! I'm so sorry for your loss! If there is anything I can do, please let me know. I'm so happy that her and Grandpa are together again, and this time never to be separated again. :)

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